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A God is not just one gender
Category: Member Blogs

I do not get why people assume that a god MUST be male? The term GOD (not just goddess) should not have anything to do with gender or such as gods are not just one Gender and should not be termed so loosely as male or female. A God is a God be he or she male or female they are a God period  both genders have equal power...

2020 time to get back on track and stop worrying
Category: Member Blogs
I must warn you I have a hard time explaining myself as I am Autistic so please I hope my words don't confuse you as most regular peoples words often confuse me. Anyways I was reading a pagan blog online and I realized I need to stop getting distracted from my spiritual practice. I was struggling for a long time staying motivated to keep up on the TempleUVUP as it has lost its flare and feel like one of the only members keeping the site going but it has been rough as I have had trouble writing for the longest time. It is hard enough for someone like me with my disabilities, lack in money, and being constantly busy to stay motivated when I have constantly struggled with my moods/depression. I want to keep up on praying, keeping up with my rituals, and communicating with the Gods but its hard when you start doubting everything because things get so bad you want to give up...

 

I have been a member of CUUPS for a long time but was lucky enough to find a Unitarian Universalist congregation in Delaware, Ohio that made me actually want to join a “church” again though they use the term fellowship for the same reason I would lol. They unlike my family or other churches except me for the way I am or have felt comfortable revealing to them anyways. I thought I would never go to church again but I realized church is good for people sometimes because it makes us feel connected where someone like me feels disconnected from the world and that I will never fit in. However they except me and I hope one day I can not be worried about not worried about what anyone thinks.​ I normally do not feel like I fit in anywhere: in my city, with my family, as well as in my communities (vampire, pagan, and goth) ​but I feel comfortable there​ and actually look forward to going even though it is really early in the morning lol. I am like no one in my city and most misjudge as they don't understand me; my family also does not understand me and will often not meet me half way with my life choices (as DUUF does).  Vampires often do not want me to believe what we are is a spiritual condition so my house is despised for my personal belief, Goths often despise me because I drink blood and make them look bad, pagans often despise me because I need energy from others to not constantly be sick and fatigue. So I feel all alone in every community even my local fellowship I am too afraid to let them find out as I am sure they could never understand... 

 

I try to read and meditate but with focus and reading issues it has been harder than it used to be but I am not sure why it was sometimes easier in the past but no longer is the case depending on the book? One thing I know is to many books make it too easy to go off track and use words that I am not sure about seeing as I never went to college and that really makes it hard to want to go on and deal with my stupidity. I used to have the patience and not these things bother me but I can't help the way I feel that it is too difficult for someone like me as it too me too long and was too hard to get the help I needed and yet I am still struggling. I have been working a new job that tires me out and it has been hard to keep on things out of my daily routine I must do in order to relax but relation never seems to come for someone like me so I have not been able to find the time to do what I must do to and do not have time for my spiritual practices, research, and reading. I most certainly need to get back to praying to my spiritual mother for help getting back to my rituals, my reading, writing, and more on my the site and research ect. Now that I found some people to talk to, made a breakthrough in counseling, got some help with my disabilities, and am better with my communication as well as my moods to a point (at least while keeping busy at work) I am hopping things will continue to move forward. This seems even more likely now that I have finally got rid of the writers block I have had for too many years...

 

© Vampyrian Rev. J P Vanir  
My holidays with the wifes family
Category: Member Blogs
​I went to Bowling Greens to see my step Son Maven after so many long years of missing him​ for Xmas. The first bus ride I did OK with but the crowd was a bit much at the station luckily I got to sit by my wife on the bus so it wasn't too bad. Her poor mom got lost in the fog and we felt really bad about that and I was worried cause Jay was there for the holidays but he was quiet in the car BUT as soon as we got to her moms house he was hyper as hell being as this was all new to him (being severely autistic). I was worried how he would react to me but after a while he seemed do like me pretty well which is odd for him and he even cooed at me Amanda told me which was cute. I was amazed as well the they actually had diet code red at the circle K in Bowling Greens which I have not seen in so many years but I was good and didn't drink pop...
 
I was told that Sandra wasnt going to actually let us see Maven which was my only Xmas wish this year and the only reason I spent all that money to go there! However I finally after over 13 years got to spend the holidays with the Hernandez family and it went surprisingly very  well. Her Uncle her hates all her boy friends gave me his 25 dollar gift card which we really needed after all this and Amanda got a Taco Bell card as well that she gave to me but got a few things as well. The bus ride home was a nightmare and for some reason we went through Delaware to get to Columbus just to get me home (Delaware) I wish the would have just dropped me off on the side of the road in Delaware because it was crowded and I couldn't sit by my wife. I was miserable and claustrophobic as hell and the Columbus ghetto is never better when so many people ask me for money and cigarettes and I am no help to anyone...
 
But despite all that once safe at home and in my comfort zone again I realize although I did not see Maven though I was depressed for quite a while I was excepted by her family which which made for what I was beginning to regret. I get so scared to be put in such positions and so nervous to meet them as well as being out of my comfort zone but slowly I am getting better at such things. I thought after New York I would never never leave home again but since I have already been to BG I new I would be OK but the family event and bus ride really scared me but I always survive and at least they like me esp the hard to please uncle...
 
JP Vanir
 
 
An Amazing blast from the past
Category: Member Blogs
Most of today was amazing I finally went to the Reynoldsburg UU church and we had an outside pagan fire service that reminded me of the old days with the TempleUVUP gatherings. Many of that church are druid and I had great conversations with them. We had delicious hummus and peta bread that was better than any other I had before...
 
I did not realize they would be making a detour to Newark to visit the earthworks mounds and Grandville Ohio which was any blast from the past to bad I did not have time to visit Samantha Pandy but yeah my day was too much
 
Of course because this was the last day to get our stuff out my Mother and wife Lady Amaura gave me a hard time and so much for the peace and no anxiety I never get...
Autism and ME
Category: Member Blogs

Apparently I might have Autism and not just OCD and mood swings ect the Doctor says. So that might explain several things and hopefully I can get more help I hope...

Balancing my chakras
Category: Member Blogs

I am working on balancing my chakras especially my ajna (or brow) chakra​.​​ ​Apparently ​I need to take in more supplements and foods that help in keeping the pineal gland healthy and my  regular distribution of melatonin is disruptedas​ it results in depression, mood swings, and seasonal disorders. The pineal gland is also responsible for metabolizing other neurochemicals, such as DMT and pinoline, which coordinate emotional and physical processes on a cellular level.​ ​​I suppose I need some extra serotonin or DMT as well (like I can get that legally)...

Buddhism is good but I can not be one
Category: Member Blogs

Apparently I cannot be a Buddhist because "The Buddhist teaching on impermanence and no inherent existence means that nothing exists by itself and nothing has permanent nature. Thus, there is no possibility of an eternal soul."

 

I believe souls are eternal as energy cannot die but only only transform into something else...

 

 

 

Thieves
Category: Member Blogs

Why does everyone keep stealing shit from the pagans such as Christians and Nazis ect? They even stole there messiah from us...

Support your Elders
Category: Member Blogs

I will never support Vampires - Vampyres (real or not) who do not support there elders...

Dont understand
Category: Member Blogs

I can never understand how people can go places where most people don't like them and think they are going to have a good time?

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1/2/2020
dr. cindy ravenmoon: Cindy Ravenmoon HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE!!
1/26/2019
JP the DDG Aspie Vamp: Have a great 2019
8/27/2018
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